Sometimes fathers feel left out, lonely and inadequate during pregnancy or breastfeeding, since it seems like they are “not doing the job”; which could get in the way of bonding with their baby.
Social expectations consider the father as the “strong one” but less competent to take care of a baby, such expectations may make you exclude your partner by assuming that he won’t be able to understand how to care for your baby; which can be a big mistake.
Fathers can develop hormonal and biological changes in their body while taking care of their baby that can help to grow a bond between them and this also helps your baby to feel loved and grow healthier!
Is it important for your Baby to have your partner involved?
Yeeeeeeeeeeesssssss!!!
Developing a healthy attachment between partners and their babies can have positive outcomes in the baby’s life, it can lead to a confident child that is ready to learn, has self-regulation, healthy development and is able to make strong relationships with his/her peers.
Is there such a thing as paternal instinct?
Unfortunately we know little about fathers’ physiology around their baby´s, but the good news is that research is now paying attention to the impact of becoming a parent in the father’s brain and how he can develop a care that we culturally think of as “paternal instinct” (Maternal instinct isn’t even a conclusively proven term).
It has been seen that the activities and environment does affect the father’s brain, so the time he spends with his baby while involved in his/her care activities such as changing diapers, bath time, bottle feeding and even playing and cuddling, does develop a close bond with his child.
How can a Dad bond with his Baby?
Here are some ideas that you can share with your partner that can help him develop a bond with your baby:
- Talking to him/her
- Making eye contact
- Mirroring your baby’s movement and echoing his/her noises
- Feeding your baby
- Have a dad and baby routine such as bath time, reading, diaper change or a feed
- Sooth when crying
If your baby stops crying by being picked up by his/her dad, initiates eye contact, responds to his voice, reaches out for him, recognizes him and gives other signs that it seems that he/she feels comfortable and familiar around his/her dad then you know the bonding is happening!
Other important way of creating a father-baby bond is skin-to-skin contact:
Also known as kangaroo care, since it simulates a mother’s kangaroo’s pouch, this is a practice in which you hold your baby (when he is wearing nothing but a diaper) against your bare chest and cover him/her up.
This practice has great benefits for your baby, such as improving oxygen saturation levels, improves sleep too, relaxes him/her, enhances growth and weight gain, helps regulate his/her body temperature and strengtheness a bond.
When your partner practices kangaroo care, it improves father-baby bonding and it also helps your partner to reduce stress and to promote his paternal role.
Research has shown that even 30 minutes of skin-to-skin can increase dopamine and oxytocin and lower testosterone, which will ensure a positive association of this contact with your baby.
Recommendations are to do it for an hour at least four times per week, but you can always keep a healthcare provider close to know more about these practices and how they work best for your family.
How can you get involved on their bond
As we mentioned, father-baby bonding has a big cultural influence, nowadays dad are being a lot more involved in childcare, but since they don’t carry the baby for nine month nor breastfed them, society tends to exclude him from the topics, attentions and decision making regarding the child’s routine and care.
It’s important to avoid these costumes and involve him in all the process, let him know how you feel and what you need, but also ask him about his doubts, concerns and wishes, so you can both get involved in your baby’s care.
Having your partner involved will give you some rest and it will help your baby to develop a bond with him that will help them later in life; so you can avoid excluding him in the process and let this be a team work!
In Breastfeeding 101 we hope this information has helped you to know more of the importance of father-baby bonding, and how you can get involved in it. We remind you that every family is different and there isn’t a unique type of routine or choice, the important thing is to maintain a healthy communication to know what works best for you and to always maintain a healthcare professional close regarding all your health needs.
In the following we share with you some of the research that made this article possible:
- Breastfeeding hormone key to paternal instinct in new fathers I University of Otago
- Child-Father Relationship I ScienceDirect
- Dads & Partners I NHS
- Effects of Father-Neonate Skin-to-Skin Contact on Attachment: A Randomized Controlled Trial I National Library of Medicine
- Fathers in neonatal units: Improving infant health by supporting the baby-father bond and mother-father co parenting I ScienceDirect
- Fathers’ oxytocin responses to first holding their newborns: Interactions with testosterone reactivity to predict later parenting behavior and father-infant bonds I National Library of Medicine
- Father/baby Bonding: Impact of Vulnerability to Stress: I ResearchGate
- Kangaroo Care: Bonding With Your Baby I Cleveland Clinic
- Paternal Leave and Father-Infant Bonding: Findings From the Population-Based Cohort Study DREAM I Frontiers
- Supporting new fathers I NHS
- Top Stories: Paternal Instinct, Mammoth Graveyards, and Big Brains I Science
- Why is newborn baby skin-to-skin contact with dads and non-birthing parents important? Here’s what the science says I University of South Australia
Annie Rueb
